her vagine was all disorganized.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
