Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
dude. I can hear the air.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
