if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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