I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
