I wish I could teleport
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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