So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
