You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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