Swine flu. Run for my life!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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