How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
