She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
