I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
