margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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