DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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