I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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