Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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