I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize