we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well you can't waste a boner
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
