I didn't shave. On purpose
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize