My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
