32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
