i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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