she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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