Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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