why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
