I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
