I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
