fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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