And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
