I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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