next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
