i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize