Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
