Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This toilet bowl is my home.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
