was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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