New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
