so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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