Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
