and you said cock pushups were impossible
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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