The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
