The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
