i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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