He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
