He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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