my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
