i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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