So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
