Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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