I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize