shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
