Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
