i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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