lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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