"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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