i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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