and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
