Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
