I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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