you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
