maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
