i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize