Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
